Miranda was in bed, listening to a CD of "Sleepytime Songs" by Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul and Mary fame). Oddly, the second track isn't very "sleepy" at all--it's uptempo. Miranda said, "I wonder why they call this a sleepytime song. It's pretty jumpy."

She paused, then said, "I wonder why when people say 'I wonder why', they put a question mark after it sometimes. Maybe they put a question mark after it because it ends with 'why'. But it's not really a question."

Miranda had a regular checkup today with her pediatrician, who adores her. The doctor happened to have a little extra time, since she didn't have an appointment immediately after ours, so she let Miranda read her a whole children's book.

One illustration in the book is of an old lady who can't see too well, peering at a drawing some kids made for her. The doctor said to Miranda, "Oh, look, she's looking through something that makes it easier for her to see the drawing."

Miranda explained patiently, "That's called a magnifying glass."

Over the last year or so Miranda's started reading joke books, and has been valiantly attempting to make up jokes of her own. We bought a new joke book at the bookstore today, and she was reading jokes to me out of it during lunch. Later on, while she was eating and looking at her glass of orange juice, she said:

"Daddy, what's arranged with ice at the top?"

"I don't know, bunny."

"Arranged juice!"

After Miranda finished signing invitations for her upcoming princess-themed birthday party, she said to me out of the blue, "You know, daddy, 16 is made up of a lot of 3s and one 1."

"That's right, bunny! How did you know that?"

"Well, I was counting my invitations in threes, one-two-three one-two-three, and then there was a one at the end with no two and no three."

Mom, remember every word I say, and write down what I say about the two heavens.

Babies wait in Heaven in the South to be born. They wait in a long line. When it's the baby's turn to be brought to its mom, someone calls its name and says "You're first!" The baby is carried over to where it's prepared for the pelican, crawls into a blanket, a grownup gathers the blanket around the baby and ties the knot, and then the pelican brings the baby to its mom!

In the North, there's another heaven. That's where people go when they die. There's a big building there, with floor after floor. On each floor, there's a bed. There are two people who work there. They live in a house next door. A worker takes the person who died to their room. In each room, there's a bed, not a bed for two people, just one bed in each room. There's no talking or crocheting or toys or reading, because, well, they're dead. The worker puts the person into their bed, and then turns out the light. Dead people don't need any lights. They don't need anything, just a bed.

1. Miranda was talking about how she and her friends at school were playing pretend karate the other day.

"Would you be interested in taking karate classes?" I said.

"Yes, because I'd like to learn real karate. Also, I already know a fair amount of Miranda karate."

"What's Miranda karate?"

"Well, it's when you imagine what kind of karate you want to do, and then you do it."

2. We were talking about gifts, and Miranda spontaneously said, "You know what my best gift ever is?"

"What's that, bun?"

"My mom. And all my friends and family, which includes Fizgig, and you too, Dad."

"Wow, that's very sweet, bunny."

"Because even though I like playing with toys and things sometimes, you're the only gifts that are around all the time, every day, every week, every month, every year. And I think about you all the time, with every breath I take, especially when I'm at school and you're not around. It's like this: I take a breath, then I think about you, then I wish you were with me. I take another breath, then I think about you, then I wish you were with me. Like that."

Miranda was describing Mirandaland to me. There were a lot of details that I've probably forgotten, but I think this is the gist of it.

"Well, it's a continent that's completely surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean, and it's made up of a bunch of islands.

"When you go there there are signs that say, 'If you're a grown-up and you're taller than this sign, or exactly the same size as this sign, then you need to bend your head down so you can fit.'

"The first land is Hotelland. That's just the big hotel where everyone stays. There aren't any rides there or anything. It has lots and lots of rooms and restaurants.

"The next land after that is Coloringland. And then after that is Artland, but Artland is only open on art days. Tomorrow is an art day, but there's something wrong with the land that they have to fix up, so it's going to be closed and you have to go around it.

"The next land is called Playworld. You don't have to go to school, but if you do, the school is just a big playground anyway. Then there's Rideland and Gameland.

"And the last land is called Everythingelseland. That's the land that has everything else that kids like to do.

"Only kids whose names have an M in them get to go into all the lands. Kids who don't have an M in their names can go to the hotel, but they only get to play with their own toys or new toys their parents get for them."

I went to Miranda's room to get her up and dressed for school.
She looked at me solemnly and said:

"I had a story, somewhere. Here's what happened:

The moon and a star came down from the sky.
They went into a house
And there they turned into you and I.
We were still shining, and hungry,
So we ate a whole gummi-pie.
I don't know what came next.
Daddy woke me when he said good-bye.

Hey mommy, some of that rhymed!"

It's cold this morning.
The air's place of miracle
has overwhelmed
the sun's place of miracle.

A one-ber is an animal with a head and feet, and a long swishy tail. It loves to travel, and it always smiles.

A ten-ber is a two-headed creature. It has one head on its one, and one head on its zero. The heads each have two eyes and a mouth that always smiles. They are always together. The one of the ten-ber only likes to travel to hot places, like Hawaii, Australia, and Mexico. Hot places make the one smile more.

The zero likes to travel to cold places, like Sweden, Canada, and Antarctica. Even though the one does not like cold, a ten-ber always travels together, so when they go somewhere cold, the one wears a lot of layers, with a raincoat too, and the zero just wears clothes.

When a ten-ber ice skates, the one and the zero try and try to make S-shapes, but they can only make 3s, because numbers can only make other numbers.

Miranda watched me slowly make my way through swallowing my boatload of vitamins and meds, grimacing. "You don't like them. Poor Mommy. I wish grown-ups could have gummy vitamins, like my princess vitamins," she said with sympathy.

"Mmm. That would be nice, Bunny," I said.

"Only they shouldn't be princess gummy vitamins. They should be something grownups like. You should have "The West Wing" gummy vitamins. Hey, why are you laughing?"

We were doing our standard nighttime ritual--story, then potty, then teeth. After the story (which she read herself tonight), I told her, "Okay, bunny, it's time to go potty."

She said, "But daddy, we do the same thing every night. I don't like it--it's so...ordinary!"

I was ripping a CD of Disney songs into iTunes so I could get them onto my Squeezebox. Miranda asked me when it would be done. "It's just about done now," I said.

"Can I watch?" she asked, coming into the room.

"Yup. It just finished. Now I just have to load the music onto the server--"

"Oh. That will be boring," she said, and walked back out.

Miranda is currently really into drawing books, posters, and cards for people (I'll try to scan some in and post them soon). Sometimes the cards are for holidays of her own invention, like "Family Day", which she's been talking about so much that we're thinking of actually throwing a Family Day party sometime.

Today, she made cards for me and Morrisa. Morrisa's had a big heart and a garden in it, and mine had a bunch of little hearts on one page and flowers on the other.

I asked her what the cards were for--if they were for a holiday or something else. She explained, "They're just for the sake of love."

After we finished tooth-brushing, Miranda said, "You know, Daddy, every time I talk, I feel like I'm in a story that everyone is reading. It's like I'm a picture in a book, and everything I say or anyone says has 'he said' or 'she said' in front of it."

Yes, we now have videos! Miranda singing and dancing to Puff the Magic Dragon; reading the Lorax all the way through; and dancing in her Princess Jasmine recital. Enjoy!

http://morrisa.net/videos/

(Click one of the titles at the bottom to view it.)

Miranda was looking at the books on her bookshelf and saying "hello" to them. Then she said, "I was saying hello to my books, which is funny because books can't say hello back. If they say hello to me, is that anthropomorphism?"

Miranda was powering through a Hooked on Phonics book--good practice for her, but a bit cheaply illustrated and made. Afterwards, she complained, "These books have colors on the outside, but they're black and white on the inside." She thought for a second, then said, "Maybe they were made back when the world was in color but movies were black and white."

I was watching Obama's victory speech on my iPhone. Miranda heard it and said, "Dad, is that The West Wing?"